Li Xun made it clear—he wasn’t about to let me go without a fight.
I was ready to leave, truly. I’d taken off my heavy phoenix crown and laid aside the pearl-embroidered ceremonial robe, wanting to say goodbye to everyone with dignity.
Remember this moment!
I’ll remember it forever.
But then, just as I was about to step out, a battalion of royal guards surrounded my courtyard.
Did he think this would scare me, someone who’d trained in martial arts since childhood?
Honestly… I was a little scared.
Li Xun chose this moment to make his grandest entrance. He walked out with the air of a man who’d finally found his moment.
My eyes darted around, and cold sweat broke out on my back.
Damn it! Is he going to silence me for good?!
Trembling, I watched as Li Xun, with an air of absolute authority, ordered, “Bring out the empress’s ceremonial gown. The Crown Princess will change into it.”
“You lied to me!” I protested.
I wanted to run, but there was nowhere to go.
Li Xun’s eyelashes fluttered. He bit his lip and admitted, “Yes, I suppose I did.”
“Li Xun, you’re supposed to be a gentleman. Gentlemen keep their word.”
“If it means keeping you, I don’t need to be a gentleman.” His eyes were red at the corners, his stubbornness plain for all to see.
A crowd of attendants swarmed forward. I clung to a pillar, howling like a husky.
No one dared to drag me away.
Li Xun, with a look that was three parts mocking, three parts cool, and four parts nonchalant, said to the servants, “Let her cry. When she’s tired, drag her in—
“And prepare her for the night.”
Me: ?! Wait, what? Is the empress’s robe disposable or something?!
“Li Xun, we had a deal.
“I hate being lied to. Don’t make me hate you.”
Li Xun’s lips parted. He looked lost.
Just as the attendants regained their courage and reached for me, Li Xun suddenly shouted,
“Stop. Let her go.”
He stepped forward and hugged me, his body shaking.
“Yan’er, you’re taking advantage of my love for you.
“I can’t bear to force you. I just can’t.”
His words were calm, but each one pierced my heart like a needle.
That day, Li Xun let me leave.
I’d imagined my departure a thousand times, but never like this—never with such uncertainty.
Why?
Maybe it was because Li Xun’s figure looked so lonely as he turned away.
I spent some time on the frontier.
It was everything I’d dreamed of: galloping across the plains, singing around bonfires, feasting on roasted meat and strong wine.
But even in the midst of all this freedom, my thoughts kept returning to Li Xun.
I remembered how he would gently wipe my hands with a handkerchief, how he patiently accompanied me to watch the dusty, chaotic polo matches, and how the light in his peach-blossom eyes had dimmed.
“What are you thinking about?” A familiar voice startled me from behind.
“Dad?!” I tensed, ready for a scolding. My father had sacrificed so much for me, tightening his belt until it nearly disappeared.
Now that his hopes had come to nothing, surely he was here to settle the score.
“I’m not here to lecture you,” he said, waving away my worries.
“Honestly, I don’t have the right.”
Me: This old fox is up to something!
“I know why you had to leave. You’re just like me—wild at heart, preferring to die on the battlefield than live like a caged bird in the palace. I’ve seen your talent over the years. You’re more than capable of carrying on my legacy and serving the empire.”
“I’ve thought about it, but…” His voice cracked, and tears rolled down the face of this iron-willed old general. “I’ve spent my whole life serving the people, never acting for myself. But when it comes to you, I’ve been selfish.”
“Yan’er, you’re my only child. The battlefield is dangerous—nine out of ten don’t survive. And for a woman, the path is even harder. I didn’t want you to die, or to suffer.
But I know your ambitions. An ordinary marriage could never contain you. Only the position of empress might challenge you enough to give it your all.”
“But now, I understand.” He handed me something from his sleeve and sighed, his expression easing.
I was stunned.
It was the Tiger Tally—the symbol of military command.
My father stood and waved as if to say, Go on, be free.
“What’s yours will always be yours. You can’t keep it back.”
For the first time, I realized my domineering father had truly grown old.
I clutched the Tiger Tally, emotions swirling inside me.
“Dad, who told you to give this to me?”
No matter how powerful my father was, he couldn’t silence all the court censors.
He didn’t hesitate.
“His Majesty.
“Oh, and you have another choice. Eunuch Zheng is still waiting by the Saluo River. Or, if you can’t decide, you can ask him why His Majesty made this decision.”
I laughed. “Old man, do you really think I’d change my mind after all this trouble?”
Normally, my father would have punched me for such insolence.
But this time, he just smiled.
“So, Yan’er, this is your choice.
“Your heart will tell you what to do.”
I went to see Eunuch Zheng.
He didn’t say a word, just handed me a small book.
I teased him, “Your job is so easy—you don’t even have to talk!”
Eunuch Zheng rubbed his mosquito-bitten, puffy face and glared at me with his squinty eyes, silently cursing me as a capitalist parasite.
I laughed, snatched the book, and gave him two playful punches for good measure.
Eunuch Zheng: You’re the real devil.
The book was old but well cared for, its pages smooth and unruffled.
The handwriting was unmistakably Li Xun’s.
When I first entered the palace, I could manage the household affairs well enough. But my handwriting was atrocious—like someone had kicked the writer seven or eight times mid-stroke.
I may be rough around the edges, but even the legendary warrior Zhang Fei could embroider flowers. So, I decided to learn proper calligraphy.
I begged Li Xun to write for me, but he was always busy. Instead, he took it upon himself to teach me.
He said, “Your handwriting reflects your character.”
I glared at him. “Are you discriminating based on looks?”
He shook his head solemnly. “No, you’re just asking for a beating.”
I wasn’t convinced, but faced with Li Xun’s elegant, disciplined script, I had to admit defeat.
After much practice, my writing began to resemble his.
Proudly, I showed him my progress.
He laughed when he saw the similar strokes.
“Yan’er,” he said, “this is what’s called ‘husband and wife in harmony.
Chapter 04
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